February 2012
140 posts
Dear Readers,
My sincerest apologies. I will be gone until May 19. This means that I will be missing a celebration on Substance for Spring (tied for my favorite season with Autumn), my birthday (which is in the first week of May), and the release of Regina Spektor’s new album, What We Saw from the Cheap Seats (coming out in May). Surely you understand that this blog means so, so much to me. This isn’t a...
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The Beatles: And when I touch you I feel happy inside. It's such a feeling that my love I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide.
Led Zeppelin: If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me. Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more.
Guns N' Roses: She's got a smile it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories, where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky. Now and then when I see her face, she takes me away to that special place...
Bob Dylan: Why wait any longer for the world to begin, You can have your cake and eat it too, Why wait any longer for the one you love. When he’s standing in front of you
Nicki Minaj: You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid), you a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)
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Ode to Death →
pilums:
Catastrophe asked me as it sat, with youth in its eyes, on my knee ”When did you first notice me?” and I had to answer truthfully: “When you saw me as a child feeling vulnerable and frightened as the earth seemed wild, and you grabbed me, with your knotted nails, and shook the innocence from my face, until blood filled my helpless cheeks. I didn’t speak for weeks.” Another happened to...
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“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers...”
– Woody Allen
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Summer 1939 [excerpt]
Against the abrasive world, he held her in his arms, shielding her from something even he could not foretell. It seemed that the wind was stronger than before, but he did not feel cold for himself. He brushed his hands over her back reaching beyond her protruding stomach, wondering why he hadn’t brought his coat. And for a brief moment, he could not tell if they were standing or if the world had...
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Kiss (272)
Your fossilized kiss still sits in the compost of my mind. Leaning like the Eiffel over me, gathered at the top, your legs spread, your head held up high, looking down at me, warning me: I’m not responsible for the ache after this. Tell me now, what did you truly expect from me then? Did you expect me to divert my gaze, let you go, the gold among the brittle salt scattered and lost? The earth...
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“The record spins her nearer to the outcome of her day.”
– 8th Floor, Regina Spektor
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Beach [excerpt]
We left the beach two hours before the sun rose. We called it ‘morning’, but leaving with so little sleep, we believed it was the night. At least I had slept five hours. Jesse had slept almost none. I wanted to offer him my driving, but I wasn’t feeling very confident about this new road. I only knew the beach, our beach. I knew what was in it, each grain of sand, and I knew what was around it,...
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2.55.1.61.2
There are high hopes in the room. There’s something very curious about high hopes in a room. It almost becomes lame. It becomes naive and pathetic. This isn’t negativity - it’s one of the fine features of a human being’s survival instinct. We expect disappointment. Afraid, we mask it with further praise of the situation, elevating it to a whole new level of expectations...
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Tabloos [excerpt]
“Parifa!” But it was too late. The mushrooms popped out of the ground like a film set on fast forward - surreal, thought Gabon. Surreal. The umbrellas of the giant mushrooms loomed over them both, and their small shoulders sank. Gabon intently gazed ahead to find Parifa lying down on the ground. She had been uprooted also, but involuntarily. “Parifa, stick your hands in your...
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“Don’t let me out of this kiss.
Don’t let me say what I say.
The...”
– The Sword and the Pen, Regina Spektor
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Goal (399)
I’m sorry my love is broken.
The way I try to love is so different from the way I breathe – it doesn’t come naturally, and when it does, it comes with effort I don’t know how to put in. How much? “Just break me into smaller parts - let go in small doses – but spare some for spare parts – there might be some good ones” Don’t give up on me yet – I want to learn to love you. I want to learn...
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Peripeteia
There is a bizarre significance in the fact that insignificance is perpetuated in a world where people care so much. There is no romance to any of this. There is no romance in living. It’s always been this way. The way it just is. It’s curious how we would do anything to get by. We would lie and cheat and disillusion ourselves. We would create and destroy and become a bridge for the...
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Fidelity // Regina Spektor
I never loved nobody...
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Panini
Me: Are you okay?
Brother: Yeah . . . I'm just very tired . . . -looking morose-
Me: Do you want me to get you anything from Starbucks?
Brother: Everything is really expensive there.
Me: Yes. The prices are so inflated. -agreeing and thinking with relief that he is finally not a child anymore, and he understands that that was an empty offer made to cheer him up emotionally, but it really is expensive, and I don't have any money-
Brother: But this time, can you get me that mozzarella panini?
Me: . . . Okay.
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Food Eating Contests
disgust me so much. It’s so … oh my goodness. Why does it even exist? It’s such a lame way to gain celebratory success. While on one side of the world we have things like that YouTube channel where they mix all kinds of strange ingredients and consume it all like beasts, on the other side, we have people starving to death. I am not advocating the whole Singer solution here....
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“I wish I’d see a field below
I wish I’d hear a rooster crow
But...”
– Field Below, Regina Spektor
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Confession II
Dwight Schrute is obsessed with hierarchy. He is the sycophant he is for specifically that reason. Because although he might not be at the very top, he revels in the idea of organized ranks. It gives him a sense of power when he is in a certain position, and he bows down to leadership just as he is willing to take it on. I also have a fetish. But not for hierarchy. It’s more horizontal than...
Anonymous asked: What are your favorite chapters from the Bible?
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Nightmare I
He held her face in his two, soft and large hands. Her eyes were closed lightly, her eyelids still fluttering as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. Then as she’d seen in movies, he traced the bridge of her nose down to the small dip right above her lips. But he did not kiss her yet. The warmth of his lips traced all around her mouth, the corner, the bottom cliff above her chin, and she...
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“I love you to pieces, distraction, etc.”
– J.D. Salinger (Franny and Zooey)
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Modigliani [excerpt]
The professor was frightened. The first time he had ever had a lengthy conversation with Marisa, and he was left alone, dazed and unsure of anything. They had been the only two in the cafe when the lady at the register came to them and reminded them that it was about to close in a few minutes. He remembered drawing back into his chair. He had been subconsciously leaning forward. She waited until...
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Investment [excerpt]
The next hour you spend trying to impress your employer is wasted. You realize, slowly and painfully, that all those minutes and hours and days you spent pleasing other people have gone to waste. You realize that people eventually leave, and so you should never waste your time trying so hard to invest yourself in them. But then at the same time, something effortlessly blossoms in your heart - you...
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Charlie II [excerpt]
He was an irresponsible black hole. There was no way he couldn’t have not known all the attraction he garnered from people around him. I couldn’t go through the halls without hearing his names over and over again. I refused to believe he didn’t know. This is why I can’t think of him as a character. A book character, as he once said he wanted to be. Charlie could never be a...
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Charlie [excerpt]
I know this is terrible, but I have a theory. He might have killed himself for the sake of it. It sounds insane, and maybe you’re ready to take me in, but it’s the truth. He was spontaneous. He was radical sometimes. He explored death to a frightening extent. Read his poetry. Read his stories. He writes about death more than half the time. He is fascinated; he is not frightened.
One...
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“There are those boys with earthly eyes
Their eyes are like the ground
You walk...”
– Silly Eye-Color Generalizations, Regina Spektor
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“Where does a thought go when it’s forgotten?”
– Sigmund Freud
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Autocorrect
I have this terrible habit of suddenly switching tenses when I write excerpts. It usually starts out in past tense, but then I get really into it, so the moment seems more prevalent, so I start writing in present tense. Sometimes, I do it intentionally especially if my character is crazed and frenzied enough, and I want to draw the reader into it because this could all be a flashback in the first...